But What Will Witnesses Swear On?

Get over yourself, Bill O’Reilly — this is what a war on Christmas looks like.

A priest in Italy has been ordered to prove in court that Jesus Christ existed. Seems the padre denounced a local writer whose book called into question the historical veracity of Jesus. The author, described as a “militant atheist? in a Times of London article, sued, accusing the priest of “abusing public credulity.?

The author argues that the gospels were merely accepted on faith, and the few independent references to Jesus’ existence were hearsay written decades or centuries after the (alleged) fact. A hearing is set for the end of the month.

Proving a disputed fact from 2,000 years ago sounds like a tough case for any lawyer, but it could be worse. They only have to prove that the itinerant preacher described in the Bible lived. Virgin birth, water-into-wine, rising from the dead … try proving those two millennia before camcorders and DNA analysis.

Opening arguments will be fun, right until the plaintiff is smote by lightning. And if he’s not, maybe the writer can enter that into evidence.

— Brian McDonough

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6 Responses to “But What Will Witnesses Swear On?”

  1. Andrew Says:

    Hey, linked this over at my blog, found it kinda interesting.

  2. Caffe Says:

    This is why I revoked my Christian faith in favor of Buddhism. Buddhism requires one to think for themselves what is truth and not-truth, whereas Christianity dictates you must accept their foundations as truth … or go to hell for exercising your free will and choosing not to believe.

  3. John Says:

    Every other religion in the world has its myths and recognizes them as such. Christianity is the only one that takes is own myths seriously as fact.

    But what I really wanted to say to the author of the piece is that “smote” is the past tense of smite. What he should have written is “…right until the plaintiff is smitten by lightning”. Editors be vigilant!

  4. Brian McDonough Says:

    Andrew — thanks! “Kinda interesting” is our mission statement here at Legal Pad.

    John — I dunno, there’s some other religions that take their stories pretty seriously. I mean, countries that base their legal systems on the Koran ain’t exactly acknowledging fanciful metaphor, there …

    And yeah, I knew “smitten” would’ve been better (except for the romantic connotation), and I could’ve written around the issue entirely, but in the end, “smote” is just funnier.

  5. John Says:

    You article smacks of ridicule of the tens of millions who, surprise surpise, do have faith in the stories in the Bible. You obviously are not one of them. However, you should be more considerate to those that do. Describing Jesus as an “itinerant preacher”? Come on. I highly doubt you would be so dismissive of stories or prophets in the Torah, or in whatever codification the Buddhists have. Or calling Mohammed a warrior-prophet (which he was). Unfortunately, nylawyer.com consistently picks up anti-religion, particularly anti-catholic, stories such as yours to add to their progressive liberal onslaught. rest assured, mcdonough. we readers aint dumb. best of luck,

  6. RATSLIVEONNOEVILSTAR » The Fable of Christ Says:

    […] Saw this over at Legal Pad, thought it was interesting. Original article. […]

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